My Deadly Lady
by Honey Bear
Summary: Darkwing Duck has his hands full with FOWL's newest agent. (A continuation of "Me and Mrs. Muddlefoot") *Complete*
1. My Deadly Lady Chapter1

**My Deadly Lady**

**Chapter 1**

Darkwing Duck briefly glanced at his sidekick Launchpad McQuack, who was softly humming as he piloted the Thunderquack. Darkwing then turned to look outside of the jet to observe the autumn scenery. The bright foliage of the landscape in the dawning sunlight gave the appearance of a wild bonfire. Darkwing took in the sight of the beautiful forestry since where he and Launchpad was headed will be nothing but a dark, barren frozen wasteland. 

Darkwing stretched in his seat; he was still a little sore from his battle with Steelbeak two days ago. It was all worth it since he was able to shut down another major FOWL research facility. It had something to do with some research dubbed Project Pygmalion. He didn't get to see what the said project had churned out. Most likely, he was able to stop it before FOWL was able to produce its monster or whatever they were planning on making. Darkwing smirked that Steelbeak was so enraged at him putting a stop to another of FOWL's diabolical designs. 

Darkwing then frowned when he remembered how Steelbeak took supreme delight in harassing him about how he can't watch his own hen house. Darkwing snorted that he has to be the only guy in the world who's sneaking around with his own girlfriend. Too bad he couldn't rub that in Steelie's face. Steelbeak also took great delight in telling him that if he couldn't handle Morgana there was no way he could handle Steelbeak's lady. Darkwing huffed at the whole silly situation; like he would ever want to have anything to do with one of Steelie's nasty chicken-heads. 

Darkwing thoughts then turned to more serious matters. From the preliminary surveillance of the recently captured FOWL facility, it seemed that FOWL had much larger plans in store for SHUSH and the free world. Darkwing just knew FOWL was about to hatch a malevolent maneuver real soon. SHUSH was already on edge about FOWL's recent Ditto Design cloning activities and then FOWL's super secret Project Pygmalion. SHUSH would be damned if FOWL was going to catch them off guard again. SHUSH Director J. Gander Hooter sent his Chief Agent Gryzlikoff with a team of agents to investigate one possible location of FOWL activity at the South Pole. Darkwing with his sidekick Launchpad decided to check out the other possible location at the North Pole. 

"We're almost there," Launchpad chimed.

Darkwing was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the early morning autumnal vista had changed to a nighttime wintry wonderland. He acknowledged the North Pole region this time of the year was in perpetual night. Darkwing smirked that the seasonal conditions of this locale suited his persona perfectly.

Launchpad landed the Thunderquack some distance from the target site. Darkwing felt that flying too close to the supposed location of the facility might alert FOWL of their presence. Darkwing unbuckled his seatbelt then quickly sprang from his seat. He knew there was a lot of preparation required before he and Launchpad went out to explore. 

Darkwing and Launchpad were suited up in full arctic gear. They rode along the frozen landscape on the modified Rat-catcher. The Rat-catcher was altered to be an ultramodern skimobile. Darkwing smiled that getting around just got a little easier. The Rat-catcher quickly approached the target site. Darkwing slowed down the Rat-catcher to better survey the landscape. It didn't look any different from the surrounding area.

"It's all quiet," Darkwing commented, "a little too quiet."

"I like quiet," Launchpad retorted.

Darkwing turned to give Launchpad a scolding look. Darkwing then noticed that a jagged piece of ice began to stir in the frigid night. "What's that?" Darkwing puzzled aloud.

Launchpad glanced around. "What's what?" He then saw jagged pieces of ice rise out of the frozen ground. "Oh no! What the heck?" 

Darkwing sped up the Rat-catcher and replied, "FOWL's welcome wagon is ready to roll."

Launchpad looked at the chunks of ice ascending out of the ground. The hunks of ice resembled eggs which hatched to reveal large icy robotic versions of FOWL Egg Men. The icy sentinels in unison rolled towards the speeding Rat-catcher. Launchpad astonished, "Abominable Robotic Snow Egg Men!"

Darkwing quickly glanced back. "That's something you don't see everyday." 

"DW! They're gaining."

"The Rat-catcher is already going incredible fast!"

Darkwing and Launchpad sped past a bold reflective sign in the ice. Darkwing asked, "LP, did you read that sign? I thought it said something about a bottomless pit."

"I saw it too. I think it said … Warning: Bottomless Pit." 

"Sheesh, it's like them things are everywhere these days."

Launchpad looked back and stated, "DW, the Snow Egg Men are breathing down our necks."

"I know already!" Darkwing was keeping a check on the snowy sentinels from the Rat-catcher's rearview mirror.

"I'm just trying to be helpful."

"Yeah, I know." Darkwing spotted another bold reflective sign up ahead. It definitely was a warning about a bottomless pit. Soon, Darkwing could see the view of the bottomless pit in front. Darkwing yelled, "LP, hold on tight. I have a plan."

Darkwing pushed the Rat-catcher's speed to its very limits and drove the skimobile straight for the bottomless pit. 

Launchpad clenched his teeth and hoped Darkwing hadn't lost his mind again. The chasm appeared far too wide for the Rat-catcher to be able to successfully soar to the other side. 

Darkwing drove to the very edge of the endless ravine. The robotic Egg Men were close enough to nearly grab on to the skimobile. Darkwing at the last second swerved the Rat-catcher along the edge of the ravine. The snowy sentinels were unable to change their direction as quickly. The icy robotic Egg Men mindlessly plummeted over the edge of the bottomless pit to their demise. Darkwing then drove the Rat-catcher back to a safer distance from the perpetual pit. 

Darkwing safely parked the Rat-catcher. He took off his unique helmet for arctic conditions and got off the vehicle. He turned on a specialized flashlight that was attached to his artic suit and carefully walked to the edge of the bottomless pit. Launchpad was right behind him and cautiously peered over the edge of the infinite abyss. Both Darkwing and Launchpad heard a muted thud. They bewilderedly looked at each other then they looked back to the direction of the sound in the bottomless pit. 

Launchpad wondered, "The bottomless pit had a bottom?"

"You're right, LP. If the pit was truly bottomless, we never should've heard those horrible hoarfrost henchmen hit the horizon."

"Wow, DW. You must have the entire Standard Thesaurus memorized."

Darkwing smirked. "I do. But that's beside the point. Why would there be signs up claiming this gorge to be a bottomless pit if it isn't? This definitely warrants further investigation." Darkwing instructed Launchpad to go get their mountaineering equipment.

Darkwing and Launchpad repelled considerably down the side of the icy pit to a wide ledge. They looked around with the aid of their flashlights and saw a cavern close by. 

Darkwing shrugged. "We came this far. It's worth a look."

Darkwing and Launchpad went into the mouth of the cavern. The icy cavern had a soft eerie iridescent glow. Darkwing turned off his flashlight and touched the side of the glacial grotto. It was so smooth, too smooth to be a natural formation. Darkwing whispered, "I don't like this. Be extra cautious."

"No problemo," Launchpad responded. He turned off his flashlight then noticed that behind Darkwing, something in the wall began to rouse. Launchpad yelped, "Not again!"

Darkwing looked around and realized coming out of the icy cavern were large crystal egg shaped objects. The egg shaped objects then sprouted four tentacle-like appendages. Darkwing gulped, "Looks like we wandered out of the ice cube tray into the freezer." 

The quadruped eggs started to surround Darkwing and Launchpad. One of the eggs lashed its tentacle at Darkwing who promptly jumped out its way. All the eggs subsequently began to swipe and lash their tentacles at Darkwing and Launchpad. Darkwing and Launchpad fought to evade the attacking egg armada. 

Darkwing puffed, "It's like they're playing with us." 

Launchpad yelled out.

Darkwing saw with his peripheral vision Launchpad whip around and struggle to get something off his back. Darkwing turned to help when he felt something hit him square on the back. Darkwing arched his back and hollered, "Eeeee-yoooowww!!!" He felt something wrap around his waist and lock. He struggled to get the errant egg off his back.

Launchpad screamed, "DW! I have an egg on my back."

Darkwing growled, "I know!" The other eggs went back to their positions in the icy cavern. Darkwing snorted, "I guess they've served their purpose." 

The egg situated on Darkwing's back began to stir. Four tentacles swiftly protracted out of the egg and slithered down each of Darkwing's limbs. The tentacles wrapped around his wrists and ankles. The tentacles then began to retract causing his limbs to be pulled behind him. Darkwing struggled to resist but to no avail. He first fell to his knees then toppled onto his belly. 

Launchpad whimpered, "Hog-tied."

Darkwing turned his head to look at Launchpad. Indeed, Launchpad was hog-tied, the same as him. Their imprisoning eggs then sprouted two more appendages. These appendages helped to lift the eggs' cargo off the ground. On the end of the appendages were stabilizing discs which flipped up and became wheels. The crystal eggs then wheeled their precious prey towards a predetermined location.


	2. My Deadly Lady Chapter2

**Chapter 2**

The eggs rolled through the iridescent icy caverns to a dead end. The dead end of the icy wall then parted to reveal a reinforced metallic door decorated with a talon grasping a globe. The door slide open to allow the crystal eggs with their capture to enter. The eggs proceeded down a brightly lit, futuristically designed passageway. They turned into a small, warm, dimly lit metallic room. Against one side of the room was a tapestry with the logo of the talon grasping a globe and under the logo was the anagram: F.O.W.L. 

The eggs wheeled to the side of the room with the tapestry. The eggs positioned their prey to face away from the wall and afterward flipped their wheels down to stabilize their unit. The eggs then extended their restraining tentacles on their captive. As the limbs were stretched out the egg flipped the prisoners up so that they faced forward and slightly off the floor. Darkwing and Launchpad were stretched out into an 'X' position.

A robotic unit entered from a panel in the wall. This robotic unit was basically a large egg shaped bin with four protracted arms. The egg basket glided towards the hostages and methodologically removed their outer clothing and placed the arctic gear into its basket component. Darkwing and Launchpad were now sporting their typical attire.

Darkwing snorted, "You forgot my hat." 

The robotic egg basket reached into Darkwing's purple jacket and took out Darkwing's famous grey fedora. The robot put the hat on Darkwing's head and tilted the hat to an aesthetically pleasing angle. 

Darkwing said in surprise, "Eh, Thank you." The robot saluted then turned to go park itself in a corner of the room.

Launchpad was impressed. "Wow. We should think about getting something like that."

A muffled female voice answered, "Sorry, Mr. Launchpad McQuack. That particular model can only be purchased from FOWL's recent holiday catalog; on page 359."

Darkwing and Launchpad turned to the direction of the voice. Entering the small room was a tall woman with two burly Egg Men in tow. 

Darkwing observed the woman. She was someone new to the FOWL organization or at least someone he never dealt with before. She wore a long, white hooded cloak and had a white leather muzzle over her nose and mouth. Her face was not only obscured by the hood and muzzle but a long feathered tuft of sapphire blue bangs mostly covered her left eye. From what Darkwing could see, the woman also wore light-blue, short leather gloves and had on light-blue, high-heeled leather boots.

Darkwing remarked to the woman, "You're a new one."

She turned to address Darkwing, "Wow, Mr. Darkwing Duck! You're FOWL's most infamous bother. I'm honored that you stopped by my little hole in the wall. It's a shame you came unannounced. If I knew you were coming, I'd've baked a cake."

Darkwing sneered, "No, thanks. I'm trying to cut down on my sugar intake."

Launchpad replied under his breath, "I would've enjoyed some cake." Darkwing gave Launchpad a withering look. Launchpad simpered back.

Darkwing demanded, "Enough with the pleasantries. Who the pluck are you?"

The woman flinched. "Oh my, such foul language," she chuckled then continued, "I'm sorry I didn't get to introduce myself. I'm Lady Cleaver but you can refer to me by my nickname of Lady C." And with that she performed a dainty little curtsy. 

"She's very polite, DW," Launchpad commented.

Darkwing rolled his eyes and grunted.

Lady C strolled over to a panel of buttons on the wall. She pressed a series of buttons then took out a small rod-like device from within her cloak.  

Darkwing felt the tentacles of the egg loosen; eventually the tentacles fully retracted back into the crystal robotic egg. Darkwing landed on his feet as the egg shaped device thudded onto the ground. Darkwing laughed, "Boy, oh boy. You must be truly stupid. I believe Lady C really stands for Lady Cockeyed." Darkwing got ready to jump Lady C when she pointed her handheld device.

Lady C yelled, "Freeze!"

Darkwing stopped in mid-lunge. His feet were fixed to the ground with his arms out in front. He tried to move but couldn't. Darkwing growled, no wonder the burly Egg Men by the door didn't bother to try and stop him. Lady C had some means of protecting herself all along.

Lady C bleated, "Do you have to be so nasty, Mr. Darkwing? Why, I've been perfectly ladylike towards you and your colleague."

Darkwing glared at her since he was unable to control his body enough to be able to speak.

Launchpad questioned, "Taking us captive is ladylike?"

Lady C pointed her device at Launchpad and ordered, "Hush! Prisoners should be seen and not heard." Launchpad immediately was silenced.

Lady C then pointed the device at Darkwing and demanded, "At ease and remain still." She put the device in her pocket.

Darkwing felt his body move into a standing relaxed position. Lady C signaled the robotic egg basket to come to her. Lady C got down on her knees in front of Darkwing. She pushed his long blue-violet cape back and she then began to unbutton his double breasted purple jacket. Darkwing had enough control over his body to loudly gulp. He couldn't believe it; he's had dreams like this. Darkwing felt Lady C leisurely run her hands over his opened jacket and snug cerulean turtleneck shirt.

Lady C noticed Darkwing was flushed. She chastised, "Oh my word, calm down. This isn't what you're thinking."

Lady C subsequently started to remove Darkwing's various stashed items and toss them into the robotic egg basket. A high-tech magnifying glass, handcuffs, gum, knives, sporks, hooks, PDA camera cell phone with GPS & personal multimedia player, handkerchiefs, medic-pack, flask, deck of cards, rope, Mickey Mouse keychain, canisters, grenades, etc … they all went into the egg basket. Darkwing groaned when she removed his ultramodern gas gun. 

"Oh, don't be such a whiny baby," Lady C chided. Lady C found a wallet on Darkwing and promptly searched through it. No ID but there was a good amount of cash which she happily pocketed. 

Darkwing grunted in protest. 

"Whatever, Mr. High and Mighty. Finders, keepers…," Lady C retorted. She continued with her rummaging. "As good as the egg basket is; it's still not an expert on the finer points of a personal search. It sometimes tends to miss a lot of important items. I guess robots still aren't good enough to replace flesh and blood personnel," Lady C remarked.

One of the burly Egg Men responded, "Thank goodness."

The other Egg Man replied, "You bet!"

Lady C nodded in agreement. She ran her hands over Darkwing's body for a finally once over. She stopped and pulled out some foiled wrapped packets. She puzzled over the items then tossed them into the basket with everything else. She demurely closed her eyes and said in a hushed voice, "I guess you're prepared for anything." Darkwing uncontrollably smirked. 

Lady C satisfied with her search, buttoned up Darkwing's jacket. She got back on her feet and sighed, "Ugh, that was the only time today I've been off my feet. I really need to sit down." She looked around the small room but there were no seats available. Lady C grumbled, "I really need to talk to the staff about removing chairs from the interrogation room." She turned her attention back to Darkwing. "But I think I may have a solution." She took the small rod-like device out of her pocket and pointed it at Darkwing who was still standing at ease. She commanded, "I need a bench."

Darkwing promptly got down on his hands and knees. The muscles of his body locked into place and stiffened up like a board. Lady C walked around Darkwing and inspected him like she was deciding to purchase a piece of furniture. She stroked his back and gently pushed down. Lady C stated, "Seems sturdy enough." She straightened out the drape of Darkwing's cape on his back. She then turned around and sat down on Darkwing's rigid back. She happily declared, "Whadidyoknow? It's perfect."

Lady C's communicator gently buzzed. She picked it up and answered. On the communicator's view-screen was a heavy-set, mature bird with brown, shoulder length, shaggy hair and bushy eyebrows. On top of her head was a red scarf with a black polka dot design. The woman on the view-screen screeched, "Howdy, Lady Cleaver! Ammonia Pine here! Guess who dropped by my station."

Lady C gleefully answered, "Ooh—I think know. Was it SHUSH agents?" 

Ammonia cackled, "Yup, and not just any batch of SHUSH agents. This group was headed by SHUSH's Chief Agent Gryzlikoff."

"Oh, that's something special. But guess who I have over at my place," Lady C gloated.

Ammonia whined, "Oh no! Don't tell me, you got … Darkwing Duck!!"

Lady C boasted, "Right you are. And his sidekick too, Launchpad McQuack." Lady C then took Darkwing's hat off his head and roguishly placed his hat on top of her hooded head.

"No fair, I wanted to mop the floor up with Darkwing. He had the audacity to bust Steelbeak's recent operation. And with the bounty on Darkwing's head, it would've been a nice bonus just in time for the holidays."

"Don't worry I'll fix Darkwing real good." Lady C chuckled as she absentmindedly played with her makeshift bench's tail plume. "Oh my, I forgot to ask. How are things on your end at the South Pole?"

"Just peachy. I cleaned SHUSH's agent Gryzlikoff and his cohorts' clocks up real good. Everything still is on schedule as planned."

"That's wonderful news. On my end, Darkwing Duck and his assistant are under control and the operation is running smoothly."

There was a brief silence before Ammonia bashfully spoke, "Uh, um … what are your thoughts on Agent Steelbeak?"

Lady C sighed, "He's a nice gentleman."

"You think so? Have you partnered up with him yet?"

"No. I've trained under his tutelage though."

"OH! Well … then." Ammonia paused then blurted, "Are you and Steelbeak a team—like soap and water?!" 

Lady C answered in shock, "Oh no! It's not like that. I'm a free agent."

Ammonia breathed a heavy sigh of relief. Unfortunately Ammonia and Lady C's conversation didn't end there. They went on about various methods of household cleaning, Agent Steelbeak, food preparation, Agent Steelbeak, the latest fashions, Agent Steelbeak, hair & makeup tips, and who was the cuter superhero: Darkwing Duck or Gizmoduck. It was a tie, Ammonia felt Gizmo looked cleaner while Lady C liked Darkwing's outfit. Lady C mentioned that despite Darkwing's great costume, he did have a dirty mouth and mind. Lady C and Ammonia subsequently went on to discuss Darkwing's despicability.

Launchpad distressfully shook his head; this Lady C was a depraved, sadistic villainess. If he wasn't silenced, he would've screamed out in dire agony two hours ago.

Darkwing mentally screamed out in anguish. He thought his brain was going to seize up like his body. At this point he wished his brain would seize up, at least he would be out of his misery. He didn't how much longer he could withstand this torture before losing his mind, yet again.

Lady C howled with laughter, "… I didn't know the size of a drake's bill meant that." She then said her good-bye to Ammonia Pine on the communicator before putting it away. She thoughtfully rubbed her veiled chin and mumbled, "I was supposed to do something." She perked up and snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah. My hostages. I nearly forgot."

Lady C picked up the device that she placed on her lap during her lengthy conversation with Ammonia. She rolled it around her gloved hand and spoke to her captives, "This is a wonderful device as you know. It's charmingly called Consbrainer 45. If you haven't figured it out; it's a prototype of a highly advanced mind control device." She playfully flipped the device in her hand and continued, "But FYI, this little thingy is just the tip of the iceberg. FOWL has built two much larger devices. The larger devices are delightfully known as The Consbrainer 800. As wondrously strong the two devices are, they simply don't have the raw power to effectively control as many people as FOWL High Command would prefer. Thankfully, the great scientific minds at FOWL figured that placing the devices on the planet's magnetic poles would amplify their signals to the point where they could affect the entire world. With every single living being under FOWL's control, a new day will be dawning, a bright FOWL future." Lady C jubilantly clasped her hands. 

Launchpad mutedly gasped in sheer terror while Darkwing silently cursed FOWL's heinous plans. 

Lady C stated, "According to Ammonia Pine, The South Pole facility is already up and running. All that's left is for this facility to power up and go online." 

Lady C leaned forward on her living improvised stool and gently ran her hand up Darkwing's rigid leg. "Of course Mr. Darkwing, my fine feathered furniture; you won't be around to see that beautiful day. FOWL High Command has put out a death warrant on you for destroying the precious Ditto Design cloning facility. Then to make matters worse, you had the nerve to put a stop to Project Pygmalion." She sat up and tenderly stroked Darkwing's head. "You my friend, are _so_ dead." She sighed, "Exterminating you will be a major achievement in my glorious FOWL career." 

Lady C gazed at the bleary fettered sidekick. "Let's see. Well, you Mr. Launchpad; there's no bounty on you and you seem like a really nice gentleman. I guess FOWL can always use another helping hand. I know I always can." Lady C called her Egg Men guards. There was no response; she looked towards them. The two burly Egg Men guards were fast asleep on the floor. Lady C placed the mind control device on her lap and loudly clapped her hands. She yelled, "Wake up! Rise and Shine!!" 

The Egg Men stirred. They fully awoke and got up on their feet. They saluted and said in unison, "Yes, Lady Cleaver. At your command!" 

"That's better." Lady C pointed to Launchpad. "Take him for processing." She mumbled, "Thank goodness, not all of Project Pygmalion's equipment was confiscated." 

One Egg Man went to the panel on the wall and pressed a series of buttons. Launchpad's crystal egg restraining device activated. Launchpad's hands were pulled in back of him while his feet were placed together. The egg then moved it stabilizing discs into wheel formation. The egg wheeled the distraught sidekick to the door. 

Lady C picked up her mind controlling device, Consbrainer 45 and spun around on her personal bench. She remarked, "Oh dear. I forgot to give back Mr. McQuack's voice." She pointed the device at Launchpad and instructed, "You can speak freely." 

Launchpad instantly screamed out, "You can't get away with this!"

Lady C looked puzzled. "Well, I hate to correct you but I just did. Bye-bye, now." She decorously waved to Launchpad. The burly Egg Men escorted the bound wailing Launchpad out of the room towards his fiendish fate. 

Lady C leaned down to Darkwing's ear and softly spoke, "I just had to give your sidekick his voice back. The screams during the processing can be so very delightful. It's just like music."

Darkwing was revolted by the sick twisted ways of this vicious vile vixen. 

Lady C straightened up and stretched her body. She got off Darkwing's back and pointed her device at him. She declared, "Relax, you're coming with me." 

Darkwing's body immediately flopped to the ground. He briefly rested on the ground before he got on his feet. He really needed to stretch his aching body; being a chair for so long wasn't easy. Darkwing thanked the heavens that Lady C didn't have Ammonia's girth. Darkwing tried to command his body to attack Lady C but instead he obediently walked to her side. 

"Good," Lady C said.

The egg basket that was dormant next to them came to life. It took Darkwing's hat off of Lady C's head and placed it back on Darkwing. It once again adjusted Darkwing's hat to a rakish angle.

Darkwing was silent for so long as a chair, he was almost unsure of his voice. "Thanks." 

The egg basket gave him an 'OK' sign with one of its hands.

Lady C waved the egg basket to go stay in a corner of the room. Lady C giggled, "Now that everything is in its place … Mr. Darkwing, are you ready to meet your maker?"

Darkwing growled, "NO!"

"Wonderful! Let's go!"

Lady Cleaver brought doomed mind slave Darkwing Duck to a large room. Within the brightly lit room was a grand exquisite sloped base. Elevated above the base was a large gleaming glass globe with an opening the size of the base below it. Lady C pointed the Consbrainer 45 at Darkwing and demanded, "Darkwing Duck, from now on you do as I command. Go to the middle of the base." Lady C put the mind control device in her pocket.

Darkwing acquiescently ambled to the middle of the base. Lady C then requested, "Get on your knees." To which Darkwing obeyed. 

Lady C went to a display case against the wall and brought out a long sheathed sword. She walked over to Darkwing and instructed, "Put out your hands." Darkwing did so as instructed. She placed the sheathed sword in his hands and demanded, "Unsheathe the sword and raise it." Darkwing swiftly followed her demands. 

Lady C strolled around Darkwing on the ornamental platform. She commented, "That sword you're holding is an authentic samurai sword of the Tsubasa Dynasty." She stopped in front of Darkwing. She lovingly stroked the flat sides of the polished blade with her gloves hands. She purred, "This sword is my gift to you. Ooh! It's beautiful; isn't it?" Darkwing quietly glared at her. She replied, "Not very appreciative; huh?" She let go of the sword and coyly waved her hand. "It doesn't matter. It's the thought that counts." 

Darkwing wished that he had some control over himself; here he was given an excellent sword which he could use to escape but he was helpless to make a move with out Lady C's instructions.

Lady C asked, "Mr. Darkwing, do you know what hari-kari is?" Darkwing in utter dread mutely gaped at Lady C. She walked behind Darkwing and put her hand on his shoulder. With her other hand, she took his hat off, leaned in to his ear and whispered, "I can tell from the look in your eyes that you know exactly what it is." She carelessly placed Darkwing's hat back on his head. 

Lady C then walked away from Darkwing and strolled around the perimeter of the ornamental platform. She stopped and studied him; she even put her hands up in a picture frame fashion. She carped, "Unacceptable!" She took out a transmitter and pressed a button. The egg basket from the interrogation room appeared from a panel in the wall. Lady C addressed the egg basket, "Tidy him up. I want Mr. Darkwing to look absolutely perfect." The egg basket rolled to Darkwing and began to neatly arrange his clothes.

Darkwing snarled, "Perfect for what? You odious ogress!!" The egg basket took out a small brush and dusted off Darkwing's clothes.

Lady C giggled, "Now that's the famous fiery temper I wanted to see. I'm so glad you decided to stop brooding." She went on, "'Tis the season to be shopping for holiday gifts. Well, I could spend sometime shopping at a mall looking to buy my FOWL friends a nice gift. But, you know what…."

"What?" Darkwing interjected. The egg basket put away the small brush and took out a toothbrush with some toothpaste. The basket then brushed Darkwing's teeth.

 "I decided to give them something really special. And there's nothing more special than a personalized handcrafted gift." She pointed to Darkwing. "And you will help me to create such a gift."

Darkwing snorted, "Terrific!" The egg basket finished with brushing Darkwing's teeth had begun to lather up Darkwing's bill and took out a straight razor.

"It will be, for you see—above you is a large glass dome which when placed on the base that you're kneeing on, will form a grand snow globe."

"Uh, yeah…." 

"When the snow globe is formed and sealed; liquid nitrogen will be sprayed from the base inside. Thereby freezing and preserving the contents inside. The contents being you and your sword."

"Of course," Darkwing answered. The egg basket finished with shaving had taken off Darkwing's hat and took out a pair of scissors. 

"I bet you're wondering why I mentioned hari-kari early."

"Well, sort of." 

"Oh goodie. Mr. Darkwing, this is what I have planned for your final moments. As the glass dome is slowly lowered to the base, you will slowly pierce your abdomen with the sword. When the glass is flush with the base and then locked tightly into place, you will then fully eviscerate yourself with the sword. At that moment the liquid nitrogen will spray into the globe creating a wondrous snow globe scene: The dishonor and destruction of Darkwing Duck. Catchy title, huh?"

Darkwing choked, "Lovely." The egg basket satisfied with Darkwing's trim, had put the scissors away and took out a comb, brush and some lotion.

"I'll dedicate this precious ornament to FOWL High Command; and also Steelbeak, because without him I wouldn't be here today."

"Is that so?" Darkwing replied. The egg basket finished preening Darkwing and put it supplies away. It replaced Darkwing's hat and adjusted the hat to a debonair angle. The egg basket gave the thumbs up gesture with one of its hands.

"Yup," Lady C tittered.

Darkwing grimaced; Lady Cleaver must be the lady Steelbeak alluded to during the PP crackdown. The egg basket with its task complete returned to its hidden panel in the wall.

Lady C gleefully clapped her hands. She walked over to a buttoned panel on the wall. She pressed a sequence of buttons and chimed, "Let's get started." 

The glass dome above Darkwing began its slow descent. Darkwing turned the long sharp decorative samurai sword in his hands and placed the tip on his stomach. 

Darkwing roared, "You're a terrifying termagant!!" 

Lady C cooed, "I'm not sure what you called me but I bet it's not nice. So, sticks and stones.…" 

"I'll survive this … somehow!"

"You're living in a fantasy world. It's truly over for you. Deal with it!"


	3. My Deadly Lady Chapter3

**Chapter 3**

Lady C spun around and delightedly giggled. She was so excited; she couldn't wait for her project to be completed. Just then her communicator buzzed. She angrily answered the call and argued with the person on the other end. She ended the call and loudly snorted. Lady C dispiritedly spoke, "Aw! I have to go and supervise the preliminary powering up of the mind control device. There's no way out of it." She irately stomped her feet and groaned, "Ooh, Mr. Darkwing; I _so_ wanted to hear you scream your final scream. Mmm, I bet your death scream is wickedly delicious. It's such a tragedy that I have to leave." Lady C regretfully trudged out of the room.

Darkwing was appalled; he was going to commit suicide with his finally moment to be frozen in time and Lady C behaved like she was going to miss her favorite soap opera. The globe lowered from the ceiling a little more. Darkwing suffered to try and get his body back under his control but he was unsuccessful. He slowly pushed the sword into his abdomen. He gritted his teeth when he realized he had penetrated his clothes with the sword. Darkwing moaned; he began to acknowledge that he might not be able to survive this trap. Despite his tenacious nature, he began to shed tears. He thought about how he won't be around to see Gosalyn grow up into a beautiful, strong, intelligent woman. He whimpered about why Darkwing's job as a crime-fighter had to negate Drake's chance of being a father. 

Darkwing came upon a realization; he's not only Darkwing Duck but Drake Mallard. Lady C has been giving instructions to Darkwing Duck but his alter ego Drake Mallard hasn't been given any orders. Theoretically, Drake would still have free will. Also Drake has a strong duty as a father to take care of Gosalyn, which means he would have to remain alive to keep his fatherly obligation.

The globe inched downward a little further. Darkwing responded by pushing the sword into his abdomen a little more. Darkwing gasped; the sword had pierced the skin of his torso. He felt his warm blood trickle down his belly. Darkwing knew he didn't have much time. With the aid of ancient Mesopotamian psychic meditation techniques, Darkwing concentrated his thoughts on being Drake Mallard and his duty as a father. Darkwing completely zoned out the world around him and delved deep into his subconscious mind. He prayed that the mind control device didn't have any jurisdiction in the subconscious domain. After what seemed like an eon, Darkwing's hands lost its grip on the samurai sword. The sword fell from his hands and clanked noisily onto the base. Darkwing deliriously chuckled; he did it! While still on his knees, he fell forward on his hands and his body began to violently shake. He feared that he might go into a seizure but he was too determined at this point to give up. He concentrated once again and got his body to relax. 

He jumped up onto his feet and looked around. The emancipation of his mind took longer than he had hoped. The glass had lowered to a point where he couldn't slide out from under it. He knew that he better get out of the glass orb before it locked with the base and the liquid nitrogen was released or all his efforts would've been for naught. He grabbed the samurai sword, screamed out a fierce martial arts cry and hit the sword against the glass with all of his might. The force reverberated throughout his body and the sword within his hands shattered into a thousand tiny pieces. Darkwing barked, "Authentic Tsubasa samurai sword, my plucking tail feathers!" 

The glass globe lowered to the point where it touched the base. Darkwing loudly sighed then reached on his person and pulled out a large multipurpose tool. He delightedly smirked; lucky for him, Lady C was too modest to have searched him _everywhere. He pressed a button and a glass cutter popped out of the unit. He quickly cut a hole in the glass and sprang out of the globe. He swiftly got out of the room before the liquid nitrogen was released from the base of the large snow globe. Darkwing put the handy gadget back on himself. He checked his wounded belly, he was very fortunate the wound wasn't fatal. He smiled that he was still in business. Darkwing looked down the empty passageway and calculated his next move._

Darkwing headed down a passageway that while under mind control, he and Lady C passed through. There was a room in this passageway that Lady C stopped in. Even though she instructed him to wait in the hallway, he deduced that was the room where Launchpad was being processed. Darkwing originally thought she went into a powder room but a powder room wouldn't normally have screaming. Also he would've recognized those screams anywhere, it was his sidekick Launchpad. 

Darkwing stopped in front of the doorway to the room. It was a mechanical sliding door so he knew he would have to time his attack perfectly. He groused that he didn't have his gas gun or his trademark canister of blue smoke. This would've been the perfect opportunity for one of his grand entrances. He huffed and took off his jacket an acid cufflink. At least, he had the means to improvise.

In the medium-sized, futuristic processing room a petite Egg Man and a brawny Egg Woman guarded the processing machine and pod that Launchpad McQuack was lying in. The door to the room slide open then shut. 

The Egg Woman looked to the closed door then asked her fellow Egg Man; "Did the door just open on its own?"

The Egg Man answered, "I hope not. That would mean we have a phantom."

The Egg Woman replied, "Ha, ha. Very funny."

"BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" a disembodied voice bellowed.

The tiny Egg Man jumped into the Egg Woman's muscular arms. He whimpered, "What the.…"

A hissing sound came from behind the Egg Troops. The woman with her partner in her arms turned around to face the source of the sound. A machine panel was sizzling and popping. Something was burning the panel up. A small explosion knocked the woman over onto her backside. The tiny Egg Man fell out of his partner's arms. He bounced up and ran around in a circle. The Egg Woman had got up and ran to get a fire extinguisher. She sprayed the machinery with the fire extinguishing foam as smoke began to billow from the machinery. 

The Egg Man hollered, "I can't see a thing in all this smoke!"

The Egg Woman yelled, "Be cool. It's under control. There's no reason to be terrified."

"I beg to differ.…"

The Egg Man screamed as the Egg Woman froze in her tracks.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night!"

The Egg Man hyperventilated then coughed from too much smoke inhalation. 

"I am the brain freeze when you slurp your Slushie!" 

The Egg Woman whined.

The Egg Man yowled, "It's a phantom!!"

"No, but you're close. I am—DARKWING DUCK!!!" 

The Egg Woman dropped her fire extinguisher and screamed, "Lady C promised he was dead. It's the phantom of Darkwing Duck!!" 

The Egg Woman and Man were suddenly knocked across the room by a double flip patented web kick. They hit the far wall and fell into an unconscious heap.

"Yeah, and Lady C claimed my gift was authentic. I want compensation," Darkwing replied.

The ventilation system had begun to remove the smoke from the room so that Darkwing could easily see Launchpad's processing pod against the wall. The lid of the pod had popped open when the control machine was damaged. Darkwing ran over to the pod and pulled his unconscious sidekick out. Darkwing slung Launchpad over his shoulder and quickly left the processing room.

Darkwing surreptitiously slinked through the FOWL facility hallway the best he could with the added burden of carrying his unconscious sidekick around. Darkwing eventually ended up in what looked to him like some sort of engine room. He put down the still unconscious Launchpad up against the near wall. Darkwing then studied the room. In the middle of the large, dimly lit room a hot engine droned, against the furthest wall from the door were three large exhaust fans that were encased with protective fencing. Darkwing momentarily mused; there seemed to be some familiarity to the room. He snapped his fingers; this room resembled the engine room for FOWL's DD sky facility. He chuckled at the notion that FOWL's architectural design team has really gotten lazy. Most likely, this room like the one on DD didn't contain an essential machine. Perhaps this was the machinery responsible for the Egg Sentinels surrounding the above grounds of the facility.

Darkwing checked on his sleeping sidekick. Launchpad's vitals seemed very strong; Darkwing just wished he would wake up. Darkwing hoped his pal was ok and that Launchpad didn't receive any permanent brainwashing or brain damage from the processing pod.

Darkwing heaved a long sigh. He figured he might have to leave Launchpad here. Darkwing knew he had to go and destroy The Consbrainer 800 before it goes online or all hope in the world will be lost. Darkwing planned that he will hide Launchpad out here, go destroy The Consbrainer 800 and then come back here to get Launchpad out of the facility.

Darkwing spoke to his slumbering sidekick, "Don't worry LP. I'll put you someplace safe and come back for you. I promise."

"Are you sure? Promises are made to be broken—like your neck," a muffled voice said from behind.

Darkwing spun around to the source of the voice. Lady C defiantly stood in the doorway of the engine room. She reached into her pocket and produced the Consbrainer 45. Darkwing immediately kicked the device out of her hand. It flew through the air and landed deep into the droning engine. 

Lady C screeched, "You creep! I don't know how you escaped but it doesn't matter. I don't need the Consbrainer 45 to take care of the likes of you."

Darkwing laughed. "We shall see. And I escaped with no thanks to your _fake_ gift."

Lady C snorted, "You're so rude and ungrateful. Well, this isn't fake." She reached into her cloak and brought out a handful of small daggers. Darkwing began to warily move away from her.

The droning engine began to noisily clank then it sputtered to a halt. 

Lady C snarled, "Oh fiddlesticks! The engine to power the Egg Sentinels ambush has stopped."

"Ha!" Darkwing gloated.

"Whatever, within an hour it won't matter. The Consbrainer 800s will both be online and the entire world will belong to FOWL. But I do plan on finishing what I started with you. Putting your head on sliver platter will be just as nice."

"Don't bet on it, lady!" 

Lady C growled and tossed her daggers one by one at Darkwing. Darkwing easily dodged the barrage of daggers. He attempted to capture her when she brought out from her cloak another handful of daggers. She quickly tossed them at Darkwing. He was caught a little off guard but luckily got out of the way even though his outfit suffered some rips. He jumped back to assess the situation better when a dagger sliced his shoulder. He winced; fortunate for him, the gash was superficial. 

Darkwing's staunch moral fiber prevented him from outright attacking a woman. He reasoned that he could possibly subdue her; but with Lady C's deadly aggressive attacks he wondered how much longer he could last by staying on the defensive. He grunted when flying daggers slashed him on both arms. 

Lady C snickered, "Mr. Darkwing, you're not so smug, now."

Darkwing was disgusted with being used as a living pin cushion. He had about all he could take from Lady C. He sneeringly taunted, "You really want a fight, lady? You got it!" Darkwing clenched his fists and decided to go on the offensive.

Lady C ecstatically clapped her hands. She sang, "Ooh! Finally! You're taking me seriously!" She brightly announced, "I was just playing with you. Now, I'll show you why they call me Lady Cleaver! Let's do this!!" With that she flung her white cloak off.

Darkwing gawked at Lady C's revelation. She still had on her white muzzle but this was the first time Darkwing clearly saw what she was hiding under her cloak. She had a willowy physique and a bright canary yellow complexion. She sported a short, sapphire blue, feathered coiffure with long, feathered bangs that obscured her left eye. Her completely leather outfit consisted of a light-blue, short-sleeved midriff top. A low-rider, light-blue, upper thigh length skirt with two slits starting from the hips. A very short, loin length, white apron that ties in the back in a large bow with two long sashes. She also wore light-blue, short gloves and calf length, light-blue, high heeled boots. Around her neck, she wore a long white pearl necklace that draped down a little below her exposed belly. 

Darkwing silently ogled Lady C. He was completely stunned; he thought the cloak was to hide a monstrosity. He thought Lady C and her outfit was _something_, but there was something about her outfit and her that disturbed him. 

Lady C playfully posed. She demurely giggled, "I can tell you're very impressed. This should impress you even more." She produced a very large meat cleaver, leaped up and soared towards Darkwing with a spin kick. 

Darkwing ducked under her attack. "Very impressive. That's the best execution of that move I've seen in a long time."

Lady C landed on her feet and smiled. "Why, thank you." She daintily bowed.

Darkwing figured now was the perfect time to unleash his patented specialty, the double flip web kick. He rocketed towards Lady C while she was off guard. Or at least he thought she was off guard. Lady C performed a back somersault kick and knocked Darkwing out of the air. He angrily tumbled backwards onto his feet. He couldn't believe she deftly countered his special move.

Lady C placed one hand on her hip and with the other hand, wagged her cleaver at him. She huffed, "And I thought you were finally going to act like a gentleman."

"Harrumph, if you haven't figured it out; I'm no gentleman."

"Oh fine. Have it you're way. That makes my job a lot easier." Lady C swiftly pounced Darkwing. 

Darkwing grappled with Lady C. He didn't know if it was because he was so fatigued but to him it seemed that Lady C was getting faster as they battled. Furthermore, she was a whole lot stronger than she should be for a woman of her built. 

Lady C easily grabbed Darkwing's neck and lifted him off the ground. He thrashed his hands out and vainly tried to dislodge her strong grip. He inadvertently smacked her across the face. She roared and brutally threw him down to the floor. Darkwing hit the floor on his back so hard, he temporarily blacked out.

Lady C enraged tossed her torn muzzle aside. She knelt down to the floor and straddled the unconscious prostrate Darkwing.

Darkwing felt a tender kiss on his forehead. He moaned in agony and blearily opened his eyes. He saw the unmasked Lady C straddling him with her cleaver in hand. She swiftly straightened up and raised the cleaver high above her head.

Lady C crooned, "Good-night forever…."

Darkwing screamed, "BINKIE!!!"


	4. My Deadly Lady Chapter4

**Chapter 4 **

Lady C froze right before her downward swing of her meat cleaver into Darkwing's head. She stared into Darkwing's eyes and softly whimpered, "Drake…?" Lady C's body began to shudder violently and her eyes rolled back into her head. 

Launchpad grabbed the shuddering Lady C and pulled her off of Darkwing. Launchpad yanked the cleaver from her stiff hands. He held Lady C in his burly arms and asked, "DW, are you ok?"

Darkwing lay still on the ground. He was blown away; after all that Lady C has done to him—the humiliation, the molestation, the perforation, the subjugation and the near assassination—it was all done by Binkie! And she called him Drake; Darkwing's heart palpitated. 

"DW? You alright?" Launchpad was worried. Darkwing wasn't moving and he looked like he lost a battle with a demonic weed whacker.  

Darkwing slowly stirred and responded, "I'm alright." He got up on his feet and looked to Launchpad. 

"Thank goodness." Launchpad breathed a sigh of relief. He continued, "Lady C, she was about to kill you but she froze up then started trembling." 

"She might've had a seizure. The same thing happened to me when I broke the mind control. I didn't realize it previously but maybe she was under mind control herself. But right now she looks cataleptic." Darkwing slowly approached Launchpad. He gazed at Lady C in Launchpad's arms.

Launchpad looked down to Lady C and was startled. He cried out, "Binkie?" He didn't really look at the woman's face earlier. He was so concerned with preventing her from killing Darkwing. Launchpad knew she was Lady C even though she didn't have her cloak on. The woman had the same general built, deep blue coiffure, light blue leather gloves and boots as Lady C. Who else would she be, besides Lady C? 

Darkwing checked Lady C's vitals. He said, "Yeah, she's Binkie. But she can't really be Binkie because the real Binkie is with her family in St. Canard. I'm guessing this woman is a clone."

"A clone? Wow! I guess so."

"Her vitals are good. She'll survive." Darkwing concerned, held Launchpad's arm and asked, "How are you doing, LP? You were out for a long time."

"Don't worry, I'm feeling fine. I just got a really good rest," Launchpad joked.

"Are you sure you're ok? You were in the processing pod for awhile. You don't feel brainwashed in any way?"

Launchpad mused for awhile then answered, "No. I feel like my brain is dirty like normal." Launchpad chuckled.

Darkwing laughed and shook his head. He happily replied, "Thank goodness. We don't have much time. The Consbrainer 800s will go online soon. We have to stop that from happening."

"What about Lady C—Binkie—whomever—what will we do with her?"

"I say let's take her with us. I definitely don't want her to stay with FOWL." Darkwing was queasy with the notion that Lady C knew his alter ego name. He assumed Lady C must have been programmed with Binkie's memories. Darkwing went on, "I want to get her to SHUSH. Lady C needs to be examined. I think SHUSH will be very interested in Steelbeak's monster." He took the cataleptic Lady C from Launchpad's arms. Darkwing began to search her for weaponry.

"Monster, DW?"

"Yeah—in the traditional sense," Darkwing simpered then gloomily continued, "She's far too fast and strong to be a regular Binkie clone. She's an enhanced assassin that I believe was created by Project Pygmalion. I really hope she's one of a kind. I could barely battle just her alone. I fear the thought of a legion of super soldiers like her." 

Darkwing took off of Lady C's body a variety of deadly objects and he placed them in a pile next to him. Daggers, swords, knives, forks, spatula, frying pan, rolling pin, ice pick, saw, meat cleaver, etc … constituted the large pile of weaponry next to Darkwing. "I hope you don't mind but can you carry Lady C? I think I only have enough strength to stop the Consbrainer," Darkwing said.

"Sure thing," Launchpad replied.

Darkwing satisfied with his search of Lady C, handed her back to Launchpad. Darkwing warned, "I believe Lady C should stay cataleptic for a long while. Hopefully long enough for me to stop FOWL's fiendish plan. Be careful, with her. Even though she looks like Binkie, remember she's not. She's really a wickedly wily wildcat of a woman."

"No problemo, DW!" Launchpad came to attention and staunchly saluted.

Darkwing arched his brow. He worried that he and Launchpad are functioning on three wheels with a few screws loose. Oh well, it's not like that hasn't happened many times before. Darkwing stated, "Let's—"

The egg basket from the interrogation room came out from a hidden panel on the wall. It rolled to Lady C's cloak and picked it up. It then went over to the pile of weapons and scooped it up into its basket with its quadruple arms. The egg basket then went to Darkwing and fixed his hat to an attractive jaunty angle. 

Darkwing said in bafflement, "Er, much obliged."  

The egg basket waved to Darkwing, rolled back to the hidden panel and departed. 

Darkwing asserted, "As I was saying—Let's Get Dangerous!"

Launchpad had slung the cataleptic Lady C over his shoulder. He and Darkwing cautiously navigated the facility passageways in search of the main control room before time ran out. As Darkwing and Launchpad moved through the dangerous FOWL structure, the unconscious Lady C's mind drifted….

She deposited the bag of trash in the metal trash can. She couldn't take the rancid smell of rotten broccoli and fish remains anymore in the kitchen. The stench was making her nauseous. She was going to really scrub out the kitchen trash bin and turn up the air freshener. She shivered in the blustery wintry air; it was just such a quick trip to the curb that she only wore a thick robe over her clothes. She felt she better get back into the house before she becomes a Popsicle. 

"BINKIE!!!" Drake Mallard screamed.

She was confused. Why was her next door neighbor screaming at her? She looked up and replied, "Drake…?" She saw there was a car spinning out of control down the icy street of Avian Way and it was quickly heading her way. She was so terrified that she petrified on the spot.

Drake ran with all his might and did a handspring into a double flip. He soared through the air and adroitly caught her in his arms as he landed. Drake then swiftly leaped with her in his strong arms. They flew in the air and landed in a snow bank on the Muddlefoot's lawn. 

Drake had landed on top of her. He pushed himself off of her and examined her. She was still soundlessly petrified. Drake worriedly questioned, "Binkie, are you ok?"

She raggedly gasped, "Oh my goodness!" She quickly pulled herself up and looked to the curb. The trash can was flattened down like a piece of tin foil. She was just standing there; that could've been her body. She began to tear up and tremble. Drake put his arm around her and gently comforted her. 

"Drake, you saved my life. Oh, thank you—thank you so very much." She cried against his winter jacketed chest.

"You're welcome," Drake replied, "Binkie, are you alright enough to get back into the house unaided?"

She affirmed, "Why, yes. I'm all right now. Thanks." Drake gently helped her onto her feet. He reached into his coat pocket and offered her a handkerchief. She took the handkerchief and began to wipe her tears.

Drake said, "I'm going to check on the occupants of the car. They might need some help."

She dazedly nodded, 'Yes'. 

She went into the house and watched Drake help the occupants of the car which was an elderly couple. Drake got on his cell phone and contacted emergency services for the couple. Drake also checked the driver's vitals and comforted the elderly woman until official help arrived. She was totally amazed; she never seen this side of Drake before. He was so commanding, so gallant. It was like Drake was a completely different person from the timid recluse that she thought he was. She also didn't realize before that Drake was exceptionally athletic. She never saw him workout around the house; where did he get those moves? From that moment on, she never looked at Drake Mallard quite the same way. It just wasn't because of the mere fact that Drake heroically saved her life but that she somehow intangible felt there was something more to him. 

Darkwing griped to Launchpad, "Stupid me! That darn basket was right in front of me with all of our gear. For the love of Justice, why didn't I jump it and take back our stuff? My mind must really be scrambled."

Launchpad distantly spoke, "Scrambled … like an egg.…" He briefly looked mystified then all right again. 

Darkwing gave Launchpad a concerned look.

Lady C heard voices, they sounded like Launchpad and Drake. She loudly moaned. 

Launchpad was startled while Darkwing prepared himself for the worst. 

Lady C groaned, "Launchpad?"

"Yeah?" Launchpad took Lady C off his shoulder. He gently put her down and supported her on her feet. 

Lady C looked up at Launchpad and weakly smiled. She said, "Oh dear! Launchpad, why were carrying me?" Launchpad silently gawked at her. She looked to who she thought was Drake and was bewildered. That person wasn't Drake but Darkwing Duck. She perplexedly stared at Darkwing. 

"Do you know who you are and where you're at?" Darkwing nervously questioned.

"I'm Binkie Muddlefoot—" Lady C looked at her surroundings. It looked like a tiny, shadowy utility room. "—and I have no idea where I am," she replied.

"She thinks she's Binkie!" Launchpad incredulously remarked. 

Lady C was miffed. "Why, of course, I'm Binkie. Who else would I be?"

Darkwing cautiously answered, "Does Lady Cleaver ring a bell?"

Lady C gawked at Darkwing for a long while. She subsequently looked down at herself. She tentatively touched her leather outfit and held her long white pearl necklace in her hands. She looked up with her face contorted in sheer horror. Darkwing immediately grabbed Lady C's mouth to stifle a scream.

"Please, Lady C—Binkie—don't scream. We're in a very dangerous situation, ok? Nod yes if you understand," Darkwing said.

Lady C nodded, 'Yes'. Darkwing slowly pulled his hand off her mouth. She whimpered, "Ooh, oh my! I think I know who I really am now. I'm really Binkie Muddlefoot. I was kidnapped and transformed into Lady Cleaver by FOWL."

Launchpad balked. "That can't be!!"

Lady C said, "But it's the truth. I know I'm Binkie Muddlefoot. I know it in my soul." Lady C's eyes widened and she fearfully placed her hands to her face. She whined, "Oh no! What happened to my children, Tank and Honker? What about my husband, Herb? Oh my poor, poor Herby! Are they all safe and sound?" She began to cry.

Darkwing held Lady C and comforted her. He responded, "Don't worry. They're all doing fine back in St. Canard." He thought about how they're all fine with Mrs. Muddlefoot back in St. Canard. He wondered just who was he really comforting in his arms. He contemplated that this woman must be a confused clone. Poor thing; when will the real situation of her existence be told to her? How will she handle the harsh reality? 

Lady C pulled away from Darkwing and tenderly held his disguised face in her gloved hands. She softly spoke, "I realize what I did and nearly done to you. I'm so very, very sorry. I don't know how you can ever forgive me."

Darkwing said, "Don't worry about that. I believe you were under mind control and programmed to be an assassin." He couldn't grasp that this was the same woman who moments before nearly planted a cleaver in his skull.

"Thank you," she replied. She turned to Launchpad and addressed him, "And I own you an apology too."

Launchpad coolly waved his hand and answered, "That's ok. I agree with DW. You weren't in your right mind to be held accountable." 

"Well, I don't feel any less guilty," she disconsolately responded as she wiped the tears from her face. She perked up and declared, "I'll help you destroy The Consbrainer 800." 

Darkwing gestured in a 'No way, José' motion. He complained, "No! I think you're not quite up to the challenge."

Lady C asserted, "There's not enough time to argue. The Consbrainer 800 will be online soon. I'm going to help you guys out. Remember, I was in charge of this facility. I know all about the equipment and layout of this base. I know a short cut to the main control room where everything can be shut down. Come with me."

Darkwing and Launchpad warily stared at Lady C. She noticed their apprehension and pleaded, "Look, I know I did some horrible things and I'm a little confused right now. But I have to stop this FOWL plot. I just have to set things right and redeem myself. I know that deep within my soul, I'm a good person. Please, let me do this."

Darkwing knew that feeling of wanting redemption all too well. He answered, "Ok. I can't deny your chance at redemption."

Launchpad beamed. "Welcome aboard … um … er…." 

Lady C giggled, "I guess you can continue to call me Lady C while I'm still in costume." She touched her deep blue feathered bangs and commented, "I really hope this dye wasn't a permanent." She walked to the back of the utility room to a vent. She swiftly jump kicked the gate off the vent. She gestured to the open vent and announced, "Let's go!"

Launchpad headed towards the vent and commented, "Wow! She's a take charge kind of gal."

Darkwing snorted, "I knew that was a shortcut."


	5. My Deadly Lady Chapter5

**Chapter 5**

The vast, brightly illuminated, high-tech main control room buzzed with activity. The Egg Personnel and FOWL scientists were carrying out their various tasks to complete one of FOWL's grander schemes, the total mind control of the entire world. 

A loud piercing war cry cut through the drone of the workers' duties. The FOWL employees turned to the direction of the sound and saw a group of their fellow workers get knocked down by a purple blur. There was a collective gasp at the revelation that the purple haze was Darkwing Duck.

Darkwing dramatically flapped his cape and announced, "I'm here to put a stop to this malevolent mind-bending madness!"

The head FOWL scientist ran to the middle of the Control Room to a large glass enclosed area. Inside the area was an enormous futuristic cannon. Inscribed on the side of the cannon was the FOWL logo and underneath the words: The Consbrainer 800. 

The prim mature female buzzard hugged the glass enclosure and cried, "My baby!" The scientist directed, "Stop Darkwing Duck!"  

A crowd of Egg Men barreled towards Darkwing. Darkwing ran with all his might and did a handspring into a double flip flying kick. He easily knocked down the flock of Egg Men.

Launchpad and Lady C appeared from their hiding place from behind a large control panel. They saw Darkwing deftly defend himself but he was getting surrounded by more and more Egg Troopers.

Launchpad whispered to Lady C, "We have to help DW!" 

Lady C didn't respond. Launchpad turned to look at her. Lady C was clutching her head. She wailed in agony then slumped to the floor. Launchpad knelt down to her on the floor and shook her. 

"Lady C! Lady C! Oh no!" Launchpad cried. He picked Lady C off the floor and held her in his arms.

Lady C muttered incoherently before she went cataleptic. In her mind's eye, a scene took shape.…

She happily finished up the touches on a beautiful cherry pie. 

Drake came into the kitchen and addressed her, "Binkie, thank you so much for that delicious meal. You didn't have to go through so much trouble."

She beamed. "Why, it's no trouble at all."

There was a loud crash from the Muddlefoot's living room. Both Drake and she turned to the direction of the sound. Drake growled, "I bet it was Gosalyn! Excuse me, Binkie."

She was briefly stunned. "Oh no problem, Drake."

Drake stormed out of the kitchen and hollered, "GOSALYN!!!"

She chuckled and went to get a carrying case out of a kitchen cabinet. Herb came into the kitchen and spotted the beautifully decorated cherry pie. He gleefully lumbered over to the delectable pie and reached out to get a taste. 

She swiftly smacked Herb's hand away. She scolded, "Herb that's not for you. It's for Drake and his family."

Herb dolefully rubbed his smacked hand. He lamented, "But Bink-ums!"

"No buts, Herby! It's for Drake—I own him that much."

"Binkie, I understand. I'm eternally gratefully that Drake saved your life. I don't know how I could live without you in my life."

"Ooh, Herb!" 

"Still Binkie; how much more can you thank Drake? He's a hero, that's true. But it's not like Drake is Darkwing Duck or something!"

She stared dumbfounded at Herb. She felt a stir of air from the doorway of the kitchen. She glanced to the doorway and saw Drake standing there. He had a look of pure embarrassment on his face. He nervously smiled and fled out of the doorway.

Herb was oblivious to Drake's brief appearance in the kitchen doorway. Herb went on to comment, "You been making over Drake a little too much in my opinion. Giving away your prized whipped creamed, chocolate crusted, cherry pie to him the day before Valentine's Day is too extreme." 

"Herb, dear—it's just a pie!"

"You gave me that pie on Valentine's Day when we first courted." 

"Well, yes Herb. That's true and I have a special cherry pie for you tomorrow on Valentine's Day. Just like always—since we first met."

"Maybe so, Binkie; but still it's the connote-she-on and stuff of you giving that pie to Drake around Valentine's Day." Herb began to blubber, "It's like you have a crush on Drake!" Herb put his face in his hands and cried.

"Oh Herb! No!" She wrapped her arms around Herb and tried to console him. She explained, "I have a … an admiration for Drake and what he did but I don't love him. I love you Herb and only you."

Herb looked up with tears in his eyes. He sniveled, "Really?"

"Why, yes! Herb, you're my soul mate! Drake or anybody else in this world can't take your place in my heart," Binkie said teary-eyed. 

"Oh Binkie! You're my soul mate too. I love you with all of my heart." Herb lovingly embraced her and they passionately kissed.

"Have you seen Dad?" Gosalyn yelled from the kitchen doorway. Gosalyn then wailed, "Ewww!!! Tank! Honker! Your parents are getting it on! I'm traumatized."

Lady C felt someone rubbing her hand. She moaned and opened her eyes. She was lying in an elegant recliner. A stocky Egg Man was standing over her. 

The Egg Man said to her, "I'm sorry Lady C. We guess you've been on your feet a little too long today. We all promise to put the chairs back in the interrogation room." The FOWL staff all shook their heads in agreement.

Lady C groggily responded, "Why, thank you all so very much!"

The Egg Man informed, "Head scientist Dr. Eve Vale has given the word that Consbrainer 800 is powered up and ready to go online." The disheveled mature female buzzard gave a gleeful 'victory' gesture. 

Lady C torpidly nodded in acknowledgement. 

The Egg Man turned and pointed to Darkwing and Launchpad. They were rope bound together back to back and standing next to the glass enclosed Consbrainer 800. The Egg Man stated, "Lady C, we captured these two heathens who had the nerve to try stop our glorious FOWL plan for world domination. They even had the nerve to try and hold you hostage when you were unconscious."

Lady C sat up in the recliner and stared at Darkwing and Launchpad. They fearfully glared at her. Lady C got ready to speak when an Egg Woman announced, "FOWL High Command on the comm.!" 

Lady C turned to the woman. Lady C breathed a deep sigh then answered, "Well, put them on!"

A large viewer in front of the main control room winked on. The viewer displayed three shadowy figures with an F.O.W.L. logo backdrop. In the middle was a short stature, large headed, shadowy figure. The short figure spoke, "Agent Lady Cleaver! Is your base ready to go online with the Consbrainer 800?"

Lady C asserted, "Yes!" The disheveled head scientist loudly coughed.

Launchpad whispered to Darkwing, "I don't like this."

Darkwing agreed, "I think we're going to be stabbed in the back."

Lady C turned to the bound duo of Darkwing and Launchpad. She cheerfully spoke, "And as an added bonus to the splendor of FOWL supremacy, our base has captured Darkwing Duck and his sidekick, Launchpad McQuack."

Darkwing laughed, "I called that one; didn't I?"

Launchpad commented, "Hey, at least I got a mention."

The three shadowy figures straightened up in utter delight. The middle short figure remarked, "Splendid, Agent Lady Cleaver! Get The Consbrainer 800 in position!"

Lady C gesticulated to her staff to get them started on the order to get the mind control device ready. The scientists in a coordinated effort got all the necessary equipment functioning. The floor beneath The Consbrainer 800 rumbled into activity. It lifted the large cannon upwards. The final destination of The Consbrainer 800 was to be outside on the surface of the underground facility in order to be activated in unison with its sister in the South Pole.

The obscured minuscule FOWL High Commander stated, "Good! We'll leave you to carryout the plan. Since FOWL will shortly rule the world, Darkwing Duck is now considered inconsequential to us. Agent Lady Cleaver, Darkwing is now entrusted to your discretion."

Lady C turned to grin wickedly at Darkwing. She impishly rubbed her hands together and snickered.

Darkwing gulped, "Dear sweet merciful heaven!"

Launchpad muttered, "I guess you're going to be very busy."

The FOWL commander continued, "Consider that to be your bonus. FOWL High Command out." The view screen winked off.  

Lady C groused, "FOWL High Command, gave Darkwing Duck to me as a gift? Wonderful! I thought I was going to get a monetary bonus. Those penny pinching so and so's!" She pointed to Darkwing and Launchpad then addressed two burly Egg Men, "Get those goodie-two-shoes and place them—" She looked to the front of the control room and pointed out a spot. "over there." The Egg Men swiftly followed orders. Lady C next ordered the Egg Men, "Now, turn them around so that Darkwing faces me and Launchpad faces the wall." The Egg Men did as they were told. She happily clapped her hands and commented, "Good! Perfect! Why, thank you gentleman." The Egg Men saluted then went back to their previous posts.

Lady C announced, "Before Consbrainer 800 goes online; I'm going to celebrate. I'm going to kill two birds with one cleaver." Lady C reached on her person and produced a very large gleaming cleaver.

Launchpad had his head turned back and saw Lady C reveal her enormous cleaver. He remarked, "Where in the wild blue yonder did she pull that out from?"

Darkwing broke into a cold sweat and whimpered, "I think I was too conservative in my weapons search of Lady C."  

Lady C winded up her cleaver as the Egg Troopers cheered her on. 

Head scientist Dr. Eve Vale scrutinized the hullabaloo. She rubbed her chin and mumbled, "Maybe what Lady Cleaver is doing is not such a good idea."

Darkwing tried to escape the confines of the rope imprisonment to no avail. He was bound too tightly to Launchpad. 

Launchpad cried, "It was nice knowing you DW."

Darkwing wept, "Same here pal." 

Darkwing suddenly had a bright idea. He instructed Launchpad, "Hey, LP. Maybe if we abruptly move.…" Darkwing stopped in mid sentence to see Lady C chuck her cleaver. His heart froze as he felt the cleaver breeze past him in an incomprehensible blur.

Launchpad was puzzled. "What were you saying DW? And what just passed by us?" Launchpad heard a noise in front of him and saw that a giant cleaver had hit a red panel marked: Danger. There were sparks shooting out of the panel. Launchpad panicked and struggled to move. He heard a snap and felt the ropes slide down to the floor. Launchpad joyfully exclaimed, "I'm free! We're free, DW!"

Lady C loudly clucked, "Oh dear! I missed! Those no good do-gooders moved!" 

Darkwing stood motionless as Launchpad got out of the ropes. Darkwing frozenly stared at Lady C. Lady C slyly winked at Darkwing. It dawned on him what Lady C did. Darkwing gave her a barely perceivable smile then quietly spoke to Launchpad, "Let's get Lady C and run. This place is going to blow."

Launchpad questioned, "Lady C? Isn't she a villainess?"

Darkwing glanced to Lady C and answered, "Not anymore."

Alarms began to ring out throughout the facility. Lady C screamed out instructions, "Everyone! Get the flock out of the base! It's going to self-destruct!!" The FOWL scientists and Egg Troopers began to flee for their lives. 

Dr. Vale squalled, "I knew that stunt was a bad idea." She pointed to Lady C. "You dim-witted floozy!"

Lady C snarled, "How rude! You can't talk to me like that!" She took out a large cleaver and hurled it at Dr. Vale, thereby giving the impudent scientist a free haircut. Dr. Vale screamed in horror and ran away.

Darkwing ran over to Lady C. He whispered to her, "Thank you."

Lady C whispered back, "You're welcome."

Launchpad ran over to Darkwing and Lady C. As he got to them, explosions came from the control panel with the buried cleaver.

"Yipes! Do all FOWL facilities have to be inclined to self-destruct so easily?" Darkwing observed.

"Well, I guess so. I think it makes it harder for rivals to get a hold of FOWL secrets," Lady C replied.

"And it makes it harder for people to get out alive too!" Launchpad yelled.

Lady C said, "We can't go back through the vents, but I know another short cut. Come with me!" She ran with Darkwing and Launchpad following behind her. 

In a flash, Lady C sprinted down the hall and into a small, homey office room. She touched a panel and the wall next to it stirred. The wall slid open and a hidden elevator appeared. Lady C turned and waited for Darkwing and Launchpad to catch up. She remarked to the winded Darkwing and Launchpad, "This will take us to a private shuttle bay."

Darkwing gasped, "I wonder if this is how Steelbeak got out of the other facilities." He, Launchpad and Lady C stepped into the elevator.

As the elevator slid close, Lady C replied, "Possibly."

The elevator went up towards the surface. As the elevator got close to its final destination, it began to make strange noises. 

Lady C's eyes widened. "Ooh, I don't like the sound of that!"

The elevator suddenly lurched, thus knocking its occupants to the floor. 

Launchpad yelped, "What was that?"

"Oh dear! Something must have stopped the elevator," Lady C remarked. She sprang up and forced the heavy reinforced metal doors of the elevator open like it was made of aluminum foil. There was nothing behind the doors but a solid concrete wall. She whined, "It's blocked! I better try the emergency hatch in the ceiling." She easily jump kicked the metal ceiling hatch open. She leaped up and out of the emergency hatch to the outside roof of the elevator.

Launchpad droned, "Hatch … like an egg.…" He shook his head out of a miasma then adjusted his brown aviator helmet.  

Darkwing uneasily twitched his bill. 

Launchpad stared dumbfounded at the open hatch. "Whoa! She's super powered like Fluffy, The Warrior Baroness Zombie Slayer!"  

Darkwing dismally responded, "Evidently; and it seems her enhanced strength and speed is linked to her body's adrenaline response. No wonder she knocked me around like a cheap plaything." 

Lady C peeked into the elevator cabin and remarked, "Something triggered the emergency brake, but the cables look ok. Oh my, I don't understand what could've caused the malfunction."

Dr. Eve Vale piloted a shuttlecraft back to FOWL's main scientific headquarters. Dr. Vale angrily touched her shorn locks then laughed at how she sabotaged Agent Lady Cleaver's private elevator and private shuttle bay. She was so glad she did that even before there was inkling of anything going wrong at the North Pole facility. Dr. Vale grinned that she was also responsible for taking all the chairs out of the interrogation room too. Dr. Vale hated that happy, beautiful, strong Lady Cleaver. Why did that stupid hussy have to be the jewel in that very handsome Agent Steelbeak's crown? Steelbeak even had the nerve to give Lady Cleaver the mini mind control prototype Consbrainer 45. Dr. Vale hoped if Lady Cleaver wasn't killed, Darkwing Duck would put Lady Cleaver's brainless bony butt in a maximum security prison for life. Of course, Dr. Vale really hoped Lady Cleaver was nothing more than a nasty little splatter in the crumbling North Pole facility. Good riddance to bad rubbish! Dr. Vale viciously cackled then started to violently cough. She hacked, "Ack! Holy guano! I really need to stop smoking. That crap is killing me." She promptly took out a cigarette and lit it up. Dr. Vale hacked, wheezed and smoked in the shuttlecraft all the way back to FOWL SCI HQ. 

Darkwing yelled up at Lady C, who was on the outside of the stalled elevator, "Lady C is there a way out from your perspective?"

"Yes, we can climb the cable to the shuttle bay level a few feet above us," Lady C replied.

Darkwing and Launchpad was aided out of the elevator by Lady C. There was a jarring rumble through the facility. 

"We better hustle," Darkwing said.

Lady C, Launchpad and Darkwing all respectively climbed up the thick elevator cables to the shuttle bay level. Heavy metal doors blocked the opening to the floor. Lady C gracefully swung around on the cable cord to build momentum. She then let go of the cable, dived into the doors and thus created an opening. Launchpad leaped into the opening and Darkwing correspondingly followed suit.

Darkwing glanced around the small shuttle bay. There was only one shuttlecraft available. Lady C and Launchpad were getting into the shuttlecraft. 

Darkwing hollered, "Wait for me!" He ran to the shuttlecraft and jumped in.

"We wouldn't leave without you," Launchpad laughed. 

Launchpad turned on the shuttlecraft's engines. There was a loud hiss before a massive explosion. The singed trio ended up sitting in a smoldering pile of debris.

Lady C coughed, "Oh dear!" 

Darkwing took his scorched hat off his head and fanned away the choking black smoke. He rasped, "No plucking good cheap FOWL trash!"

"I didn't even get it off the ground—I think this craft was sabotaged!" Launchpad huffed. He threw down the dislodged broken steering wheel. He licked his fingers then put out the smoldering tip of his red forelock.

"You're probably right, Launchpad. Most of my FOWL colleagues are evil-minded," Lady C stated.

"What about the others?" Launchpad asked. 

"They're just plain crazy," Lady C answered matter-of-factly.

Darkwing bounced up onto his feet and ran to the emergency door. He wrestled with the door but he couldn't open it. 

Lady C had got up out of the debris with Launchpad. She went over to Darkwing and offered, "Let me." She effortlessly pulled the heavy steel door off its hinges. She threw the door down and sighed. The emergency passageway was blocked with heavy rumble.

"Can we dig out?" Launchpad asked. Loud explosions throughout the facility rocked the entire building.

Lady C moaned, "I don't think we have the amount of time needed to dig out." She turned to face both Launchpad and Darkwing before she continued, "I have one more trick left. Both of you close your eyes."

"You're going to take your clothes off?" Darkwing grinned licentiously. 

Lady C scoffed, "NO! Now close your eyes!" 

Launchpad and Darkwing covered their eyes with their hands. Lady C reached on her body and pulled out a transmitter. 

"Whoa! I didn't know you could place something there. Well, I kind of knew but still…," Darkwing exclaimed.

Launchpad took his hands off of his eyes. He scolded, "DW!"

"Oh my! Tsk, tsk. Shame on you, Mr. Darkwing!" Lady C chastised. 

Darkwing shrugged and replied, "I was curious. I just couldn't help myself." Darkwing addressed Lady C, "Just call me Darkwing. I think you nearly putting a cleaver in my head, puts us on intimate terms."

Lady C embarrassedly blushed. "All right, Darkwing." She pushed a button on her transmitter. After a few brief minutes a hidden panel slid open and the egg basket appeared. Lady C ordered the basket, "Get us out of the facility!" 

The quadrupled armed egg basket collectively grabbed Lady C, Launchpad and Darkwing. It promptly threw them into its large basket and rolled back to its hidden panel. 

The egg basket navigated up through special passageways built exclusively for robotic workers as the facility violently shook.  

Darkwing happily remarked to the gang, "Hey, all our gear is here! Fantastic!"

The egg basket popped outside of the facility into the frigid nocturnal air. The basket happened to be on the icy surface of the facility near the parked Rat-catcher. 

Darkwing screamed over the loud rumbling of the crumbling base, "There's the Rat-catcher! I have to retrieve it!" 

Lady C hollered, "I doubt we can get over there in enough time!"

Darkwing replied, "Don't worry. I have a trick—well, only up my sleeve." He smirked as Lady C grimaced at the remark. Darkwing swiftly took out a small remote control device and verbally ordered the Rat-catcher to head back to the Thunderquack.

Lady C instructed the egg basket, "Follow that skimobile."

The modified skimobile Rat-catcher sped to its destination while the egg basket containing the trio followed closely behind. There was a gigantic blast and the icy land behind the speeding vehicles began to collapse.  

There was a collective gasp from the trio in the basket. 

Lady C pleaded, "Please, my lovely darling basket! Go faster!" The egg basket pushed itself to its limits. It got right behind the Rat-catcher, reached out with two of its front hands and latched onto the Rat-catcher.

Darkwing commanded the Rat-catcher via remote to go as fast as possible. The Rat-catcher peeled out at top speed thereby putting a good distance between it and disintegrating icy surface. Eventually the Rat-catcher with the hitchhiking egg basket arrived at the Thunderquack. 

It was Launchpad's turn to take out a remote. He pushed a button on his remote and a hatch on the Thunderquack opened up. The hatch lowered down from under the Thunderquack and formed a ramp. The Rat-catcher with the egg basket in tow entered the Thunderquack. As the hatch closed, the trio got out of the egg basket and fled into the cockpit of the jet. Darkwing sat up front next to the pilot's seat while Lady C sat in the back row of seats. Launchpad promptly got into the pilot's seat and buckled up. He then switched the Thunderquack on and got it airborne. As the jet flew away a louder detonation occurred and the arctic landscape where the jet was parked caved in. 

Darkwing looked down at the cave in and coolly commented, "Just in the knick of time, the way I like it."

The communicator on the front panel of the Thunderquack buzzed. Darkwing flipped it on. On the view screen was a stylish office with a short elderly male bird sitting behind a grand wooden desk. He spoke, "S.H.U.S.H. Director J. Gander Hooter, here! It seems that the world still has free will. Darkwing, is it safe to say that you have put a stop to FOWL's latest fiendish plans?"

"Yes; J. Gander, it is safe to say. The FOWL North Pole facility has been destroyed but I can't take all of the credit," Darkwing replied.

"Launchpad helped, of course," Director Hooter assumed.

"Of course," Darkwing agreed. Launchpad proudly smiled at the acknowledgement.

Darkwing continued, "But there was someone else. And without her the mission may not have had a satisfactory conclusion." 

"Will I get to meet this new companion of yours?" Director Hooter questioned.

"Definitely," Darkwing said. He glanced back at Lady C, who gave him a modest smile.

"That's good. Oh and by the way, by you and your crew stopping the North Pole facility from going online; it prevented the complete link up with its sister facility in the South Pole. That gave Chief Agent Gryzlikoff and his troops the extra time needed to shut down the South Pole facility."

Darkwing muttered under his breath, "Well, it's about time fat boy got his crap together."

"What was that Darkwing?" Director Hooter puzzled aloud.

"Nothing."

"Anyways, good work. I will be looking forward to thanking you and your team in person. Director Hooter, out." The communicator automatically shut off. 

Darkwing gloated, "Yep, yep, yep! Another day saved thanks to Darkwing Duck!"

Launchpad turned to Darkwing and grinned. Launchpad felt that sounded like the Darkwing he knew. 

Lady C, from the back seat, commented, "Why, thank you Darkwing for telling The Director of SHUSH that I aided your mission."

Darkwing turned to face Lady C and replied, "You're welcome."

Lady C continued, "Well, I still don't feel all that heroic. I still feel all so terrible for what I did; even if it was under mind control. I never knew I had that kind of darkness within me. It's like something unholy has been brought to life in my soul." 

"I understand. You were obviously adulterated from your original nature by Project Pygmalion," Darkwing said.

"Maybe you can tie me up for the remainder of the trip?"

"Why? To make some kind of amends?"

"Well, yes. That and I still feel an indescribable urge to snap your neck."

Launchpad added, "I can understand that. I feel some strange affinity to eggs … eggs.…" The Thunderquack slightly tilted and loss altitude before Launchpad snapped back to his usual chipper mood. He quickly straightened up the Thunderquack's trajectory. 

Darkwing arched his brows in disbelief. He dryly remarked, "I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, once again."

Launchpad sighed, "A mind is a terrible thing to lose." 

Darkwing and Lady C nodded in agreement. 

After a while, Launchpad began to softly hum to himself. 

Lady C asked Darkwing again, "Can you tie me up please?"

"Will it make you feel better?" Darkwing asked disbelievingly. 

"Yes."

Darkwing shrugged his shoulders and answered, "Okay, fine." He unbuckled his seatbelt and went into the back row with Lady C. 

Lady C unbuckled her seatbelt and turned her back to Darkwing. She placed her hands behind her back and anxiously waited. Darkwing took out a pair of handcuffs and placed them on her wrists. 

Lady C complained, "That's it! Tsk, tsk. You know I can easily snap these off. Why, these aren't safe at all."

Darkwing pouted. "But these cuffs are made of an exceptionally strong alloy."

"Really now! That's wonderful, but still … at least put about four of those on; two on the wrists and two on the ankles."

Darkwing joked, "Do you want me to hog-tie you too."

"Will you?" Lady C happily inquired.

"NO!" Darkwing responded incredulously. Darkwing put the handcuffs on Lady C as she requested. 

Lady C tested her restraints and commented, "The cuffs are still a little shabby. I could still easily get out of these. Can you at least make the handcuffs on the wrists a little tighter?"

Darkwing grunted and obliged. Lady C begged, "Please, I wish you would make the cuffs tighter than that."

"Your wish is my command," Darkwing murmured. He tightened Lady C's handcuffs as tight as possible. Darkwing had briefly sat motionless before he rapidly blinked his eyes. He suddenly snapped out of his torpor and asked, "How's that?"

"Ooh, much better," Lady C replied. She felt somewhat relieved that at least she was physically fettered unlike the darkness that roamed unbridled in her mind. She paused then whispered, "I'm really going to need a whole lot of therapy."

"Me too, Lady," Darkwing retorted. 

The bound Lady C turned around to face bloodied, tattered Darkwing. She softly spoke, "Thanks for saving me." She kindly kissed him on the cheek.

Darkwing dreamily touched his cheek where Lady C kissed him. He gazed into her eyes as his mind wandered…. 

Darkwing's angelic nature, _Wing spoke, "It's just an innocent kiss. Besides clone or not, this woman is Binkie and the real Binkie is a married woman with children. Don't take advantage!"_

Darkwing's demonic nature, _Dark spoke, "Lady C's no lady. I doubt that kiss was all so innocent. Of course, she wants you; what woman wouldn't? You're a real lady-killer. Heh, heh! Besides Lady C's a clone. She has no obligation to anyone. Lady C might be a copy of Binkie but she's definitely not Binkie. Binkie never had a deep blue 'do or wore a tight sexy leather outfit. The Canardian Guardian, Lady C isn't. Lady C is so damn fine. You had already kissed a Binkie clone before. Just imagine how pleasurable—how sinfully sensuous—Lady C's kisses will be. Take advantage and then some!"_

_Wing_ was appalled. "You have a moral obligation to your beautiful innocent girlfriend, Morgana!"

_Dark_ cackled with glee. "What the hell have _you_ been smoking, _Wing_? Morgana's beautiful, but she isn't innocent! And she isn't here! What she doesn't know can't hurt her. A liaison with Lady C will just be another little secret to be kept." 

_Wing_ cried, "_Dark_! Why, _you impertinent ignorant infidel.…"_

_Dark_ mockingly mimicked, "Why, _you_ impertinent ignorant infidel.…" _He_ heartily laughed. "Pluck _you_, _Wing; __ya' high and mighty bag of wind!" _Dark_ readdressed the moral dilemma at hand, "Looky where Lady C's string of pearls dangles and drapes on her awaiting body. Now that's the real jewels!"_

_Wing_ wept, "Dear sweet merciful heaven!"

"Oh yeah!" _Dark_ howled. _He drooled profusely over Lady C's body._

"I didn't mean it like that!!"

"Suit yourself." _Dark delightedly ogled away._

_Wing_ asserted, "Don't give in to licentious carnal cravings. Take the road least traveled, take the high road. Believe in your destiny. Believe in unadulterated true love. Listen to your soul!" _Wing_ innocently batted his eyes as the halo atop his head shone brighter.

_Dark_ scoffed, "Oh please, give in to lascivious physical longings. It feels all so very good to take the common road that everyone else is on. Believe in the here and now. Believe in dirty wanton lust. Launchpad is mindlessly humming away in his own world. A little bit of necking back here won't disturb him. Oh and let me add—Lady C is a total freak. Listen to your body!" _Dark's face contorted into a lecherous expression as the horns on his head grew more prominent. _

_Wing_ frantically fluttered his angelic wings and pleaded, "Don't do it. You know better!" _Wing_ gaily smiled.

_Dark_ wagged his demonic tail and begged, "Do it. You don't know better! You were under mind control and you lost your mind before. All you have to do is claim that you're not in your right mind. So to speak." _Dark impishly chortled._

_Wing_ hymned, "Don't do it! Don't do it!"

_Dark chanted, "Do it! Do it! Do it 'til you're satisfied!" _

"_Dark … _Wing_ … __Dark … __Wing …," a melodic voice quietly intoned._

"Darkwing. Darkwing," Lady C spoke softly. Darkwing shook his head to clear his thoughts. Lady C concernedly asked, "Oh my! Are you ok, dear? Did the mind control device create for you some mental problems like it did to me?"

"I'm alright; and to answer your second question, perhaps." Darkwing reached out and held Lady C's face in his hands. He deeply sighed and with one hand he tenderly brushed her long, plumose, sapphire blue bangs off of her face. Darkwing briefly gazed into Lady C's sparkling sky blue eyes before he closed his eyes and leaned in. He gave her a gentle peck on her forehead before leaning back and withdrawing his hands. He quietly spoke, "No matter what; you'll be ok. I'm sure of it." 

Lady C beamed blissfully. She faintly answered, "I can't wait to see my husband, Herb and my children, Tank and Honker. Why, I bet you can't wait to see your daughter, Gosalyn."

Darkwing's heart skipped a beat. He momentarily lowered his purple masked face into his hands. He then looked up and stared into Lady C's eyes for the longest time. He finally exhaled then quietly choked, "Binkie…." 

Lady C thankfully smiled. She softly whispered, "Ooh, don't worry, Drake." 

Darkwing numbly smiled in return. Darkwing buckled Lady C up and afterward went to the front of the cockpit to his seat. He buckled up and quietly reclined in his seat for the remainder of the trip.


	6. My Deadly Lady Chapter6

**Chapter 6**

Drake looked out the open window of his kitchen. The warm floral scented spring air gently wafted into the kitchen. He breathed in the fresh morning air and looked to the Muddlefoots' backyard.  On this Saturday morning, Gosalyn was playing baseball with Tank and Honker. Binkie came outside and briefly spoke to the youth before going back into her kitchen. Drake turned from the window and deeply sighed. He went to a dinette chair and plopped down. He hunched his shoulders and began to reminiscence….

Drake thought back to the FOWL Mind Control Mission. He remembered that as Darkwing Duck, he got back to SHUSH HQ with Launchpad and Lady C. SHUSH Director J. Gander Hooter was astonished by the sheer depravity of FOWL's schemes. Director Hooter ordered Darkwing, Launchpad and of course, Lady C to report to SHUSH's top research scientist Dr. Sara Bellum for observation. 

Dr. Sara Bellum and her research team had been studying the confiscated FOWL scientific data from Project Pygmalion and The South Pole Consbrainer 800 facility. They had puzzled out how the mind control and programming worked and how to reverse the process. Thankfully, Dr. Bellum was able to fully descramble both Darkwing's and Launchpad's brains from the FOWL mind control damage. Darkwing figured he and Launchpad were acting a little off. Unfortunately, helping out Lady C wasn't going to be so easy.

Dr. Bellum complained there was so little data recovered from FOWL's cloning project, Ditto Design. What little that was recovered pointed to the concept there were special DNA markers in the clones. The FOWL scientists supposedly gave the clones not only the markers to identify them as clones but to also keep track of their "birth order." Dr. Bellum wanted proof of Lady C's identity since Lady C was so adamant that she was the real Binkie Muddlefoot. That claim presented a really grave predicament since there was already a Binkie Muddlefoot. Darkwing had to covertly retrieve feathers from not only Binkie but from the Muddlefoot children. As Drake Mallard, he felt guilty by sneakily plucking feathers off his neighbors. The worse part was getting a feather from Tank, who became enraged and yanked a handful of feathers off of Drake's tail. Drake was so happy that his feathers grew back fast; since there's nothing worst than a bald backside. Lucky for Drake, it was very late autumn and he could cover up. 

Darkwing got the Muddlefoot feathers back to Dr. Bellum. Dr. Bellum then sadly revealed she had obtained one other DNA sample from the known Binkie clone who officially perished in the destroyed DD sky facility. Darkwing felt his heart sank, not only because that Binkie had died but he hoped that particular Binkie was Lady C. With that theory obviously incorrect, there were now two remaining possibilities; Lady C was either another clone or Binkie prime. 

Dr. Bellum and her research staff worked feverishly to uncover the truth and when it was discovered, Darkwing wasn't all that surprised. It was like somehow in his soul he really knew the truth on the Thunderquack's flight back SHUSH HQ; even though he logically wanted to deny that truth. It turned out that Binkie Muddlefoot and the Binkie clone had DNA markers that were absent in Lady C, Tank and Honker. It meant only one thing—Lady Cleaver was the original Binkie Muddlefoot and the real biological mother to the Muddlefoot children. Dr. Bellum also puzzled out from the DNA markers, the Binkie who had passed away was Binkie #2 and the Binkie who was acting as Binkie Muddlefoot was Binkie #1. It seems FOWL made a perfect unadulterated clone before creating a modified spy clone. Dr. Bellum believed maybe the reason was so the FOWL scientists could study just how good a duplicate they could create before going on to the altered clone creations. 

With the horrible discovery that Lady C was really Binkie, it had to be figured out why she was used for Project Pygmalion. Fortunately, the PP files were fully intact and in SHUSH hands much to FOWL's chagrin. Darkwing reckoned instead of pestering Dr. Bellum for answers he would go to the source. He clandestinely got his hands on Binkie's complete classified SHUSH/FOWL files and found out the sick reality. FOWL HC and Steelbeak wanted to use Binkie clone #1 as a test of the greatness of DD reproduction of a higher organism. They planned all along to either have Binkie #1 rescued or released into the wild for later observation. They then in turn used the real Binkie Muddlefoot for their first test subject in PP. The FOWL scientists loved the idea of using an unwilling original test subject for the project. If a repressed unassuming suburban housewife could easily be converted into a fiendish assassin; it should then be a snap to convert willing subjects and mindless clones. 

To add to the horror, Binkie's true memories supposedly were erased and new memories were programmed into her mind. She was mentally altered to find bliss in combat and pleasure in annihilation of FOWL enemies, especially SHUSH's independent operative, Darkwing Duck. Binkie was also given extensive and experimental combative physical training to make her an efficient deadly assassin. She mastered techniques in a fraction of the time that would've taken years to learn by conventional methods. Binkie was also enhanced physically, so when her adrenaline response was triggered, her degree of speed and strength would considerably amplify thereby increasing her combative prowess.

A portion of making a successful duplicate clone needed the replication of the original's memory data. To make a modified spy clone required the alteration of the memory data and thought processes. To make a successful super solider needed an even more radical approach to the subject's memory banks and mind processing.  Therefore, all that research gave rise to FOWL's achievement of the Mind Control Project; first, the prototype of Consbrainer 45, and then the larger, more powerful, twin Consbrainer 800s. 

Darkwing was so thankful FOWL's brainwashing and mind control techniques weren't perfected or he wouldn't have been alive to be horrified by FOWL's sinister schemes. At least, by going through the classified files, Darkwing felt some sense of closure to the mystery of what really happened to the original Binkie Muddlefoot.

Dr. Sara Bellum realized somehow the real Binkie would have to be placed back with her family. Darkwing hated how he had to get the Binkie clone to SHUSH HQ to tell her the real truth of her existence. All things considered, the Binkie clone took it better than he originally thought. She mentioned that for some strange reason she believed she was just going through the motions of her daily life. She stated that she simply felt out of place. The Binkie clone was planning on going to see a therapist for her unexplainable funk. Darkwing felt terrible that he really didn't notice anything was wrong because he had been avoiding Binkie since the cloning caper. The whole situation with Binkie, clone or not, unnerved him. 

Dr. Bellum didn't like what she had to do. Dr. Bellum thought it was unethical but it wasn't like there was a better alternative than to re-boot Lady C's memories and give her the apparently untainted memories of Binkie clone #1. That way it would be like the real Binkie never left home, well sort of. Lady C was informed that because the Binkie clone had some memory of being kidnapped by FOWL, she will have to live with those memories. Lady C stated she didn't mind since those memories would be like a picnic in the park compared to what she currently remembered. Dr. Bellum commiserated Lady C's plight and decided to carry out the plan. SHUSH scientists perfected FOWL's memory processing techniques so that there shouldn't be any breach in the processed memories. Dr. Bellum abhorred programming in Binkie's mind a few false memories to fill in memory gaps and inconsistencies, but it was a necessary evil if Binkie was to fully reintegrate into her former life. The memory process was then completed with the real Binkie's memory "restored". The Binkie clone was subsequently taken into a SHUSH rehabilitation program in an undisclosed location.

Dr. Bellum and SHUSH's research team afterward took the real Binkie and successfully stripped her of her super solider mental and physical enhancements. Dr. Bellum assured Darkwing that Binkie Muddlefoot was completely back to normal with one exception. Currently there was no way to deprogram Binkie's physical combative training. Dr. Bellum explained Binkie shouldn't know how to use her physical skills but Binkie will have for sometime an athletic physique. At least, Binkie wasn't super powered anymore so she shouldn't be a danger to anyone. Darkwing groused there had to be a catch somewhere.  

Drake's mind snapped back to the present when he heard Gosalyn screaming like a banshee that she got a homerun. Drake griped he'll probably be paying for another neighbor's broken window. He got up and went to the fridge to get a bottle of water. He went back to his seat in the kitchen, opened the bottle and began to sip the water. 

Drake mused how after the real Binkie was reintroduced in her family, Herb really perked up. Herb had no clue what had happened. The times that Binkie disappeared was explained away as emergency family business in Twin Beaks. Binkie's athletic built was accounted for that she exercised and the results suddenly showed. Herb never questioned any of that, but he must've felt something was inexplicably wrong with his wife. Drake remembered Herb commented it was a Holiday miracle and stuff that Binkie was back to her usual chirpy self.  Not that Drake noticed any difference since he stayed away from Binkie as much as possible. 

Drake just didn't feel the same towards Binkie since the cloning fiasco and the whole Lady C ordeal made things worse. He knew Binkie's memories were reset but it didn't reset everything. Drake deduced that when he saved Binkie's life about a year ago as Drake Mallard; it must have started awareness in Binkie's mind that he wasn't what he appeared to be. A part of him wished that memory in Binkie's mind was erased but he somehow knew it was probably that memory which saved his life when Lady C was going to kill him. Matter-of-fact, being Drake Mallard is what saved him from killing himself. Drake sighed at the verity of the double-edged sword of having a secret identity. Well, Drake knew if he had to do it again he would still gladly save Binkie's life as Drake Mallard. Saving a life took precedence over maintenance of a secret identity. Besides, so far he didn't believe Binkie at this point knew that he was Darkwing Duck. Maybe she had nothing more than a wild suspicion. And if she ever did know the truth, well … he would have to deal with that dilemma when the time came. At least now he had some warning to his secret being discovered.

Launchpad came into the kitchen from the main hallway. He waved and said, "Good afternoon, Drake."

Drake weakly smiled.

Gosalyn bolted into the kitchen from the backyard door. She yelled, "Dad! Mrs. Muddlefoot has made us all a delicious lunch. There's a lot of food."

Launchpad licked his bill. "Yum, yum!"

Drake grimaced. "Yeah so?"

"You're both invited!" Gosalyn said.

"Goodie, I'm so there!" Launchpad replied.

Drake sighed, "You two go. I have housework that needs some catching up."

"You can't just wait 'til later to start your chores?" Gosalyn dejectedly asked.

"No," Drake coldly answered.

Gosalyn frowned then bolted back out the door.

Launchpad sat down on a dinette chair and lowered his voice, "Gee, Drake how long are you going to avoid Binkie? Are you still mad that she beat you up really bad?"

Drake growled, "No! She was physically enhanced! There's no way she could've bested me otherwise." Drake deflated and moaned, "Launchpad … ah … you wouldn't understand."

Launchpad puzzled aloud, "What—your little crush on Binkie?" Drake's eyes bulged in shock. Launchpad continued, "Remember, I've seen how you ogled Binkie's sister Trudi. Then I saw how you leered at Lady C when you thought she was a clone. I figured then you might really have a crush on Binkie."

Drake twitched his bill and embarrassedly looked downward. 

Launchpad patted Drake on the back and said, "I've been your sidekick long enough to understand you better than you give me credit. Don't worry, Drake. It happens to the best of us but I know you're a good person and you wouldn't act on those feeling." 

Drake's head lowered a little more and his shoulders slumped.

"Besides, with crushes before you know it, they disappear. You'll be fine."

Drake looked up with a little bit of hopefulness in his heart.

"You should try to reconcile with Binkie, don't you think it's about time?" With that said, Launchpad got up and went out back. 

Drake thought about what Launchpad said. Drake sighed and realized that despite his little slip up with the Binkie clone, he acknowledged what he did was wrong and he vowed never to give in to such temptation ever again. Actually, he didn't give into his dark nature in the Thunderquack with Lady C. Drake acknowledged that he has been around long enough to know everyone has dark impulses; but it's not acting upon them that separates the virtuous from the villainous.  

Drake got up from his dinette chair and tossed his empty water bottle into the wastebasket. He went out back and walked over to the Muddlefoot backyard. 

Gosalyn ran over to her Dad and gave him a hug. She gleefully laughed, "You finally decided to stop moping."

Drake wrapped an arm around his preteen daughter and hugged. He replied, "Yup." 

Gosalyn happily ran over to the little spread Binkie had put out. Binkie kept with the baseball theme. On the picnic table were hot dogs in buns, chili con carne, cheese spread, various relishes, potato chips and lemonade. The youth and Launchpad were seated at the picnic table where they were happily munching away. Drake was famished since all he had this morning was a pot of coffee and some water. He thought about eating but first he wanted to address why he really came over. 

Drake saw Binkie step out of the house into the backyard. He walked over to her and bashfully grinned. He timidly spoke, "Um … Hi, Binkie."

Binkie beamed at Drake and replied, "Hi, Drake." She was so happy Drake came by. She hadn't really spoken to him since about this time last year; the time of their unfortunate kidnapping by some fiendish underground organization. Something about that incident must have greatly unsettled Drake. He became extremely reclusive, far more than normal. Binkie had no concrete idea why Drake was so reclusive but she did have her theories. She exhaled and ran her hands through her fluffy canary yellow coiffure. 

Binkie and Drake vacantly stared at each in an awkward silence before Drake spoke up, "Um … er … Binkie?"

"Yes, Drake?"

"How have you been doing lately?"

"Oh fine, how are you?"

"Great," Drake replied. He glanced over Binkie and sighed. She looked like her usual Binkie Muddlefoot self and she seemed like her usual Binkie Muddlefoot self. So it seemed that everything was back to the status quo. Drake grinned contentedly.

Binkie flushed slightly when she noticed Drake was staring at her a little too long with a giant goofy grin. Drake blushed when he realized that Binkie was a little agitated. 

Drake nervously coughed then said, "If you need anybody to talk to, about anything, I'm here." Drake jumped when a big nasty fly buzzed past his eyes. 

Binkie delightedly clasped her hands and responded, "Why, thank you Drake. That's so nice of you. I'm always here for you too." The same fly whizzed around Binkie's head and startled her.

"I love springtime but not the nasty bugs," Drake griped as the fly landed on his bill. He shook his bill to get the fly off then waved his hands around in an effort to get the fly away from him. 

"Oh yes, sometimes the flies can get a little pesky," Binkie agreed. The fly hit her square in the head. She scowled, jumped back and snatched the fly out of the air. Binkie opened her hand with the fly. She looked at the squashed bug and grimaced. Binkie whined, "Oooh! Gross!" She disgustedly shook her hand.  

Gosalyn saw Binkie's feat with the fly. Gosalyn ran over to her dad. She looked admirably at Binkie and commented, "Keen gear! Don't mess with Mrs. Muddlefoot!"

Drake nervously laughed. He knew in the pit of his stomach that he will have to let go of the idea of having any serene suburban normalcy in his life.

Darkwing Duck with all respective characters and references are copyright of The Walt Disney Company. Used without permission for non-profit entertainment purposes. All other characters and story are copyright of Honey Bear.


End file.
